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Slow Burn Author: Bouyant_tomato
Summary: Sam reflecting on his life, on his special day. The day he realises that he had demons blood, the  day his demons blood burned for Dean. The day he actually done something about it and claimed him.
Rating: PG some teacher student stuff.
Warning: ANGST

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

Dean switched on the shower and sighed as he got in it. He should have never mentioned that name. It always brought back memories, things he didn’t want to think about. The moment he nearly gave up his family, on Sam… But it was also just Collin- his dorky, optimistic, caring, understanding personality. Sometimes, when Sam wasn’t around (i.e getting pie or take out) he would allow himself/admit to himself that he missed Collin- something about first love- or the first time he realised he was in love, that made him miss Collin. Dean tilted his head into the spray and remembered.


Dean was sitting on the bed of another crappy hotel room, in another no name town, entirely confused. “What did you just ask me?”

“Move in with me?” Collin said beside him.

“You’re bat shit crazy!” Dean said incredulously.

“I’m not! I just… it’s not right what your father does; he shouldn’t be dragging you from place to place, you should stay… stay here… with me.”  Dean saw conviction and honesty in Collin’s eyes.  

“Are you listening to yourself? You want to me, a seventeen year old kid, to move in with you, my much older teacher, who I am fucking around with? Do you see where it can go wrong?!” Dean just couldn’t believe it, couldn’t let himself believe it. Besides they’ve only known each other for two months, TWO, and he wanted Dean to move in with him?

Dean saw Collin frown. “Yeah but it can just be a custody thing, at least until you turn 18.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Of course, then how are you going to convince my dad? Or are you just going to kidnap me now?”

There was a pause. Oh God, Collin wasn’t actually going to do something stupid as that was he?

“Well I will first befriend your father and then convince him that it is a great idea to let you stay here.” Then with a smile Collin added, “And if that doesn’t work then I would kidnap you.”  Dean smiled a lob sided smile. You’ve got to appreciate the optimism and the insanity of it all.

“My dad isn’t a ‘befriending’ type- besides how are you going to convince him to let me stay with you in under a week.”

 “I don’t know,” Collin whined. “I just want you to stay and graduate and live with me and fuck like rabbits.”  

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you need to be mature about this.” Collin gave him a funny look. Yeah it was weird to hear those words for Dean too. “I- I want to stay too, but I just can’t leave my family. They need me.” Dean averted his eyes from Collin’s to look at the carpet- he hated expressing emotion, he felt like such a chick.


Collin licked his dry lips. And let the words rush over him. “I’ve been around a lot longer than you Dean and I can say that these things, what we have, it doesn’t happen often, at least in my experience.” Collin had meant his words. He had only been in love, proper love, only one other time. “As ridiculous as this might sound to you, I’m in love with you, Dean, smart mouth and all. So come with me,”

Collin saw a crooked smile appearing on Dean’s face.

“And here I thought you loved me because of my smart mouth.”


Dean could fly into the air, that’s how happy he was. He never knew hearing those words would make him so unbearably happy. He could see how his days would be spent with Collin- secretly living with him, fucking, graduating, getting a job (there was no way in hell he was going through more school) probably working as a mechanic, more fucking, growing old and playing bridge on Tuesdays with the neighbours (not that he knew how, Poker was more his game). No more hotels, no more monsters- of course he’ll salt the window sills and door entrances but he would be normal. Well as normal as a gay couple can be.  He could see it all, and he wanted it, he wanted it so bad that his teeth ached.  

“What do you say Dean? Think you want to give it a shot?”

“Yeah, I do.”
Dean switched off the shower.  He sometimes wondered what his life would be like if he followed through with that. Would he really have that apple pie life? Have adopted children? Work for a mechanic and get beer with the guys down at the local watering hole?

Reaching for a towel he roughly dried his hair and scolded himself. There was no point thinking about this! Besides, he loved Sam now, no not now, he has always loved Sam and he was perfectly happy. He was just glad Sam had come home on the night he had packed to leave- Sam was covered in scratches and had someone’s blood on him.
It was then he knew that he couldn’t leave his family. He remembered looking at Sam’s blood stained hair and knowing right then and there that he had to leave the town and be with his family. There’s nothing wrong with the apple pie life and the people who have it but there is something wrong with people who have the power to save others, look after their family and choose not to.

At that point Dean hadn’t found out what Sam had done- thought the kid got into a fight or something but he felt awful for not being there to back him up, to look after him. It was then he knew that he would never settle down because as long as Sam lived Dean would be there to take care of him.

He never got to say goodbye properly to Collin, he had called in sick the day Dean had to leave. Dean wrote him a letter and mailed it to him instead.

Dean know that Sam being covered in blood shouldn’t be a positive, but it saved him from a boring ass life.

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Love this, I really hope that you complete it.

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